As I describe on my About page, I have spent my entire adult life exploring my inner terrain. The level of difficulty this journey has entailed was inconceivable to my younger self. After many years of living and working on the East Coast, I decided to move West. This transition happened precisely at the time of my Saturn Return, marking the beginning of a new chapter.
A Saturn Return occurs approximately every 29.5 years, when Saturn returns to the exact position it occupied at your birth. It marks a significant period of transformation, responsibility, and growth. This transit often brings challenges that push you to reassess your career, relationships, and life purpose. The first Saturn Return (around ages 28–30) is about stepping into adulthood, the second (around 58–60) is about wisdom and legacy, and the third (around 88–90) is about reflection and closure. It’s a time of karmic lessons, restructuring, and long-term stability.
The West offered an entirely different experience of life, but I had always known that New York was not where I was meant to stay forever.
My connection with birds grew stronger the moment I arrived in the high mountains of Arizona. It began with the hummingbirds—many of them—frequenting the various places I lived. Eventually, I moved into a smaller, more New York-style apartment with a tiny deck. The hummingbirds remained close, and one, in particular, captured my heart. I named him Squishy because I noticed the tiny feathers on the back of his neck were scrunched up into a point.
The Sacred Mission
Squishy lived on a branch I provided for him on my deck for six years. He spent hours perched there in the midday heat and sought shelter from the winter snow in the same spot. Then, this year, he left at the end of the season. I thought our time together had ended. I kept his branch in place, hoping other hummingbirds would use it, but none did. I missed my little friend—he had been a great comfort as I worked through a deeply painful past.
One day, a large woodpecker appeared on Squishy’s feeder. He struggled to drink the nectar, then landed on the stucco wall and began pecking at it. The sound was as loud as if serious construction work was underway.
Woodpeckers generally do not frequent this area. They tend to reside in the forests, where the trees are larger. Moreover, woodpeckers are known for pecking at wood, not stucco. Yet, he visited daily. I often told him, “You know, there’s a bird bath in the back of the building. You can go there for water like the rest of the birds. This deck is for the little ones.” But he was persistent, sometimes visiting three or four times a day.
I became frustrated. I would step outside, thinking my presence would scare him away. He would fly to a tree across the way, wait for me to go back inside, and then return. Every morning before dawn, I found myself wondering how I could convince him to leave.
During Squishy’s absence and the woodpecker’s persistent visits, I was struggling to heal from a deep, long-standing sadness. Then, it dawned on me—perhaps this woodpecker was trying to deliver a message I had been missing entirely.
I decided to look up the spiritual meaning of woodpeckers. I knew birds had played significant roles in ancient cultures, offering guidance to saints and sages. What I discovered astonished me:
“If you happen to see a woodpecker while experiencing a period of feeling unsupported, take heart. Spirit is sending you a spiritual companion to encourage you through your struggles and help you feel less alone. The woodpecker serves as a placeholder, assuring you that a time will come when you reconnect with those who align with your being. You may mend relationships that have become unaligned with your journey, or you may accept that some endings are permanent. Either way, the woodpecker’s presence is meant to comfort you, reminding you that heartache and loneliness are temporary.”
Additionally, the woodpecker symbolizes:
- Persistence & Determination – Resilience and hard work.
- Opportunity & New Beginnings – A reminder to stay open to change.
- Communication & Messages – Divine guidance and intuition.
- Creativity & Resourcefulness – Encouraging adaptability.
- Life’s Rhythm & Synchronicity – Aligning with nature’s flow.
The woodpecker’s message was clear: Stay persistent, embrace new opportunities, and trust the universe’s signs.
I was floored. I realized I had been impatient with a bird that was trying to help me heal.
The next morning, when he arrived as usual, I went outside. He flew to the tree across the way, and I spoke to him:
“I get it. I’m sorry it took me so long. Thank you for your message and thank you for your service.”
He flew off. I didn’t see him for several days. Then the Squish reappears out of nowhere on his branch. He stayed the entire day and then he flew off signaling another page has turned on this journey of life.
I am always grateful for my animal friends. Many times, they have offered me more on my journey than any human could. I am blessed to understand the language of animals—it is an essential part of my soul’s purpose in this lifetime.